Be Your Own Best Friend - Steps To Improve Your Life

How many times especially this year have you thought, “S**T of course that would happen to me,” or you let some negativity you saw on the internet affect how you’re feeling and how your day went? We are all guilty of this. When someone is mean or unkind to us, it normally affects us, but it is important to remember we are in control of our own emotions and our reactions. This year has been particular hard with being in the midst of a pandemic plus the ripple effects it has had on everyone whether it is emotionally, financially, physically, or your health.

For me, it has been extra challenging to stay positive over the last few months so I have been hyper aware of my mindset.

When something happens, I like to flip it, instead of what is happening to me, it is what is happening for me. This mental flip is something I’ve really focused on in the last 5 years. Shifting my mindset to see everything as an opportunity, even if it was a rather unfortunate thing at the time, has made a huge impact on my quality of life.

I use the term ‘Be Your Own Best Friend’ a lot because your best friend sees you for the dopest version of yourself (or at least mine do, and if you don’t have someone like this DM me and you will). When you feel uneasy, off balanced, or overwhelmed, try thinking, what would my best friend do to comfort me right now and to help me see my best self? Best friends are your biggest cheerleader, best support system, and always want what is best for you …… channel that energy next time something arises.

At times, being your own best friend might be comfortable. A great example of this, is “How would your best friend respond if she/he heard someone talking smack about you?”… They would come to your defense right? Absolutely, they would because that’s what best friends do. Now, I want you to think about how many times someone has treated you unfair, spoken down to you, was disrespectful to you, or made you feel like you’re not worthy… we have all experienced this, but it’s how you respond that matters. This is when you need to channel that inner best friend and stand up for yourself. If you want to avoid conflict because it’s “easier” you are allowing whomever spoke to you that and made you feel less than, have the ability to speak to you like that again. It’s uncomfortable to speak up for ourselves (or at least for me it is), but it is absolutely necessary. Even if you don’t come to a resolution or an apology you will have yourself worth and respect for yourself which is priceless. Plus, you will have confidence in knowing you can handle things that make you uncomfortable. One of my favorite sayings for this year is “We can do hard things,” don’t forget how true that is.

Now that you’re being your own best friend, you can start to determine what else affects your mindset and attitude.

You need to know what media you’re consuming. If you’re getting lost in the Instagram highlight reel, or listening to constant negativity, maybe it is time to ask yourself, “am I getting any value from this?” If the answer is no, turn it off. Surrounding yourself with positivity will help you lead a more positive life. I am not saying walk around with your head in the clouds to where you know nothing about what is happening in the world, but be aware of what external things you are consuming that are negatively affecting you.

It’s important to be self-aware, on your mindset overall. Journaling can really help shift your mindset and make you feel empowered. How you feel about yourself really set the tone for your entire life. I write anything and everything in my journal, along with daily gratitudes, how I want to feel that day, and who I am sending love to. It’s also important to get outside of ourselves when feeling down or trying to improve our mindset. This allows us some perspective of seeing others and loving others. There is a prayer I read frequently that says, “Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love.”

Every time I read that prayer it gets me in my feels because it’s so true. Leading with love, kindness, and positivity is never going to steer you wrong. There are always going to be challenges in life, adversity to face, and obstacles to tackle, but all of those things are much easier with the right perspective and mindset.

As always, thank you for reading!

XO,

Madison