What you really need to know about Therapy...

Last week in my post about my Connection With Food, I mentioned that I go to a therapist. I received a few DMs asking about therapy so I decided to take a deep dive into all things therapy.

First things first, let’s get over the stigma around therapy. I know it was hard for me at first to say, “Hey, I have therapy…” because of the reaction of other people tends to be unpredictable. When it comes to therapy, it is absolutely NOTHING to be ashamed of, and if someone’s reaction to you wanting to go to therapy is negative, that’s a reflection on them not on you. I like to look at therapy as an opportunity to better myself, and not get bogged down in the “shit” of my life and my brain. We all know someone who never dealt with their family drama/trauma they experienced at 10 years old, and now is letting it affect their life as a grown adult. Also, some people may not need or want to go to therapy and that’s absolutely okay too. I personally also started thinking of therapy as a positive thing after I heard Rachel Hollis and Lauryn Evarts Bosstick say how much it helped them.

In 2018, I experienced some of the highest of highs and lowest of lows thus  far in my life. There were moments were my mind felt like mud, and I just couldn’t really figure out what to think. Last June, I was sitting on the beach in Miami with my dear friend Kerry and we were talking. She told me she could hear the shame in my voice regarding one of the lowest of low moments from 2018 and she told me that maybe I should look into therapy to help navigate those emotions. I immediately was absolutely down to try, because at that point anything new to try was a good option.

Luckily for me, I had her guidance on how to find a therapist, but not just any therapist; the right therapist for me. I went onto Psychology Today to start looking for a therapist based off my zip code. I knew I wanted a female therapist that specializes in anxiety, body image, and relationship issues so I started searching. I read about the therapists and wrote down names of people that really stuck out to me. At the time, I didn’t have health insurance either, so I wanted to make sure they offered a sliding scale and that I could afford the sessions. Once I had my therapists narrowed down, I called them to chat further. I wanted to make sure I was able to talk to this person and feel safe enough to really open up, otherwise I knew this would be pointless. Within, a few phone calls I had my therapist found, and I have been seeing her since October for roughly about every other week sometimes just once a month depending on my schedule.

As I mentioned in my Connection With Food blog post, a therapist really helped me in navigating that relationship. She still is helping me because I don’t think it’s something you just talk about once, and are good to go….. It’s a process. Having a therapist has also helped me navigate things I didn’t even know I needed help navigating. We have talked all things from family drama (everyone has it LOL), to living alone, to taxes (LMAO that’s definitely something I didn’t know how to navigate), firing people, finances, relationships, online dating, modeling, acting, business decisions, and really anything that I feel like is weighing me down or I need to talk about. I think I have the ideal relationship with my therapist, she’s like a friend I didn’t know I needed. I feel no judgement…..even when I say some things and think “Did that really just come out of mouth,” she offers strategies for me to decide how I want to approach problems, and ultimately I always feel like she has my best interest at heart.

I have never been the best at articulating my feelings or how certain things make me feel, but in the last year I have made leaps and bounds in that area of my life. Up until recent years, I didn’t think it was okay to feel feelings, specifically the negative ones…. sadness, anxiety, loneliness, disappointment, getting your feelings hurt, etc. , but going therapy has really started teaching me that it’s okay to lean into those negative feelings, articulate how I feel, process, and move on. Gab and I have talked a lot about how good it has been for me. Having the support system I do, in addition to therapy has helped me to make some big decisions and big changes in my life that I wouldn’t have considered prior.  

I realize it might not be a feasible option for everyone to meet with a therapist like I do, but I still want to offer you some suggestions. Read! Specifically books by Brené Brown who really specializes in courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. She also has a podcast if reading isn’t your thing. If you’re in an area that doesn’t have bunch of options for therapists, but would prefer a therapist, look into Talk Space. Talk Space matches you with a licensed therapist and is the most affordable way to get therapy. Talk Space also has a live video option if you prefer more of a face to face experience. I really do believe that having a therapist to talk to has helped me grow into a better version of myself, and I hope that you found this helpful.

Please reach out if you have any questions.

As always thank you for reading!

XO,

Madison